Quoting Wulfric:

I think I can reasonably assume this post was inspired by my first blog.  I suppose I could take that as a compliment, that you felt inspired by my words enough to write a blog about it.  Yet, you are making a very valid point, albeit in contention with my "small and vague" story. 
That is to say, I am not disagreeing with you.  In point of fact, I actually think you are right.
The problem lies in the fact that I neither know what I need nor what I want; so until I figure that out, I'm not getting anywhere.
I know what I think I want or even what I think I need, but God - or whatever supreme omnipotent deity you choose to worship - doesn't necessarily cater to the desires of mankind, which is why serendipitous events seem to happen at the unlikeliest times.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not turning this into a religious debate, but in my own personal experiences with life, things have a way of working themselves out, sometimes not as I expected them to.
For example:  Once the divorce papers were filed, it was up to me to move out because it seemed logical given the situation.  I needed a place to live but the one place I wanted to move to wanted a co-signer or 3X the rent.  I had no co-signer so that place fell through. I did a craigslist search and found a lady renting out a room in her house.  She was a very nice, wonderful lady and it seemed like the best option I had so far, and I thought all was well.  The decision was down between me and a single mother with a 7 year old daughter.  Needless to say, the lady renting the room went with the mother and daughter because she felt they needed the place more than I did.  I thought "Oh, boy! If I don't do something soon I'm gonna be homeless."
Curiously enough, the lady renting the room gave me the number to another guy who was looking for a roommate.  He's only 18, but he was desperate and so was I.  And we had enough in common that I decided to take a chance.  So we met up and found a place that same day.  So far, it's worked out okay.
So my point is, I thought my prayers were answered when I found the room in the lady's house, but God knew I needed something better and delivered me a roommate and a nice apartment; something I wuold not have found if I hadn't met the lady first.  Serendipitous.  Props to God.
I'm in no rush to jump back into a serious relationship. 
So to your next point of patterned behavior, we are who we are and we are programmed to act certain ways.  Programs can be altered and upgraded with enough time and dedication, and that's what I'm trying to do.  It all starts with learning from our mistakes, which I think I already made that point before.  Every person is different, and even with patterns of behavior, you can't say the outcome will always be the same.  Pattern of behavior:  I find goth girls sexy.   Variable result:  Different girl, different experiences. 
I strongly encourage you to keep writing your views, and I hope that my words have shed a little light on things from my perspective.  I don't always know the right thing to say, which is why I prefer writing over face to face conversation.  Writing gives me time to formulate my thoughts.  Again, I'm not trying to say the right things; I'm not trying to do anything other than share a little about myself and let people draw their own conclusions.  Maybe it helps, maybe it doesn't; either way, I stil find the writing about it to be therapeutic to some extent.

I think I can reasonably assume this post was inspired by my first blog.  I suppose I could take that as a compliment, that you felt inspired by my words enough to write a blog about it.  Yet, you are making a very valid point, albeit in contention with my "small and vague" story. 
That is to say, I am not disagreeing with you.  In point of fact, I actually think you are right.
The problem lies in the fact that I neither know what I need nor what I want; so until I figure that out, I'm not getting anywhere.
I know what I think I want or even what I think I need, but God - or whatever supreme omnipotent deity you choose to worship - doesn't necessarily cater to the desires of mankind, which is why serendipitous events seem to happen at the unlikeliest times.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not turning this into a religious debate, but in my own personal experiences with life, things have a way of working themselves out, sometimes not as I expected them to.
For example:  Once the divorce papers were filed, it was up to me to move out because it seemed logical given the situation.  I needed a place to live but the one place I wanted to move to wanted a co-signer or 3X the rent.  I had no co-signer so that place fell through. I did a craigslist search and found a lady renting out a room in her house.  She was a very nice, wonderful lady and it seemed like the best option I had so far, and I thought all was well.  The decision was down between me and a single mother with a 7 year old daughter.  Needless to say, the lady renting the room went with the mother and daughter because she felt they needed the place more than I did.  I thought "Oh, boy! If I don't do something soon I'm gonna be homeless."
Curiously enough, the lady renting the room gave me the number to another guy who was looking for a roommate.  He's only 18, but he was desperate and so was I.  And we had enough in common that I decided to take a chance.  So we met up and found a place that same day.  So far, it's worked out okay.
So my point is, I thought my prayers were answered when I found the room in the lady's house, but God knew I needed something better and delivered me a roommate and a nice apartment; something I wuold not have found if I hadn't met the lady first.  Serendipitous.  Props to God.
I'm in no rush to jump back into a serious relationship. 
So to your next point of patterned behavior, we are who we are and we are programmed to act certain ways.  Programs can be altered and upgraded with enough time and dedication, and that's what I'm trying to do.  It all starts with learning from our mistakes, which I think I already made that point before.  Every person is different, and even with patterns of behavior, you can't say the outcome will always be the same.  Pattern of behavior:  I find goth girls sexy.   Variable result:  Different girl, different experiences. 
I strongly encourage you to keep writing your views, and I hope that my words have shed a little light on things from my perspective.  I don't always know the right thing to say, which is why I prefer writing over face to face conversation.  Writing gives me time to formulate my thoughts.  Again, I'm not trying to say the right things; I'm not trying to do anything other than share a little about myself and let people draw their own conclusions.  Maybe it helps, maybe it doesn't; either way, I stil find the writing about it to be therapeutic to some extent.