I am on the ace so won't bother editing this or using proper anything. bff only means I am lying to you so I can stab you in the back or totally disrespect you in some way. f bff. I hate bff and they all must be eradicated and replaced with bbd bi*ches before d*cks. why will women side with and betray gfs and any other women just for favor with a man? and one they know to be a pos too. wtf? so one who claims to be my bf betrays me last night crossing the line with my husband (not sex, just butting in to our biz, how fing disrespectful!), calling him on his shit that I wanted to do this weekend when he was rested and lucid. now he's going to be worse and I know I can't trust her. I was pissed! of course my hubby said it was a good thing and he was sorry he was hurting me blah blah blah. it is a good thing she did though because if I had to wait til sunday I would have dumped his ass. I'LL give it a month and then see. gotta give the sweet boy a chance while a still have love for him..but not much. treating love like shit and not with total reverence and sweet soft care means YOU LOOSE! not my fault. He basically has a month to win my heart back and if I feel as cold as I do now or worse its OVER. I am absolutely righteous & perfect in this and I dare ad defy you to call me on it. you won't. those who know me know what I have put up with for "love" which is a pile of painful bs! don't waste my time. treat life and love as the fragile flower it is or let me throw you to the devil now so I can live in heaven where only the perfect reside. Don't blame me for being selfish or uncaring because you think I have to suffer when you screw up. I'LL forgive you, I just won't grace you with my presence anymore. like god. really, I think most people will not go to heaven, sooooorrry. so all but one of my gfs that I've confided in are telling me what to do. oh you can't, you have to bllahhhh. whose side r u on? how quickly would they hump him? sick. oh lord please humble me down by letting me experience lusting after another woman's man so I won't be so perfect and can forgive others. actually, no, just remove all females from my life who are not evolved women and are not warriors like me. Hello? how about wonder woman and the amazons? never lust after another womans "dog" but love your sis more than the penis and always offer that said phallus to your sister in need, but never take it. ewwwwhaaaaaaa! when are we going to kill the goddess (fu*k mama) and reemerge with the strong, controlled, ruling andpowerful female deity? Hellcats. F yall if you aren't loyal to the old crone sisterhood. And you thought you were a witch. ha what a joke(sex addict)! and you thought you were spiritual(alcoholic) or godly(gay) you really don't know so follow me, soon, but not yet, I am still not quite perfect yet. ahhhh that was awsome!!!!!!
I am on the ace so won't bother editing this or using proper anything. bff only means I am lying to you so I can stab you in the back or totally disrespect you in some way. f bff. I hate bff and they all must be eradicated and replaced with bbd bi*ches before d*cks. why will women side with and betray gfs and any other women just for favor with a man? and one they know to be a pos too. wtf? so one who claims to be my bf betrays me last night crossing the line with my husband (not sex, just butting in to our biz, how fing disrespectful!), calling him on his shit that I wanted to do this weekend when he was rested and lucid. now he's going to be worse and I know I can't trust her. I was pissed! of course my hubby said it was a good thing and he was sorry he was hurting me blah blah blah. it is a good thing she did though because if I had to wait til sunday I would have dumped his ass. I'LL give it a month and then see. gotta give the sweet boy a chance while a still have love for him..but not much. treating love like shit and not with total reverence and sweet soft care means YOU LOOSE! not my fault. He basically has a month to win my heart back and if I feel as cold as I do now or worse its OVER. I am absolutely righteous & perfect in this and I dare ad defy you to call me on it. you won't. those who know me know what I have put up with for "love" which is a pile of painful bs! don't waste my time. treat life and love as the fragile flower it is or let me throw you to the devil now so I can live in heaven where only the perfect reside. Don't blame me for being selfish or uncaring because you think I have to suffer when you screw up. I'LL forgive you, I just won't grace you with my presence anymore. like god. really, I think most people will not go to heaven, sooooorrry. so all but one of my gfs that I've confided in are telling me what to do. oh you can't, you have to bllahhhh. whose side r u on? how quickly would they hump him? sick. oh lord please humble me down by letting me experience lusting after another woman's man so I won't be so perfect and can forgive others. actually, no, just remove all females from my life who are not evolved women and are not warriors like me. Hello? how about wonder woman and the amazons? never lust after another womans "dog" but love your sis more than the penis and always offer that said phallus to your sister in need, but never take it. ewwwwhaaaaaaa! when are we going to kill the goddess (fu*k mama) and reemerge with the strong, controlled, ruling andpowerful female deity? Hellcats. F yall if you aren't loyal to the old crone sisterhood. And you thought you were a witch. ha what a joke(sex addict)! and you thought you were spiritual(alcoholic) or godly(gay) you really don't know so follow me, soon, but not yet, I am still not quite perfect yet. ahhhh that was awsome!!!!!!
That first part you mentioned about her stepping back in to whollop on him, what a doozy! Thank goodness she's out-a-there. I trust it was a most wonderful opportunity for you to bring out the warrior and protector! I also trust that you enjoyed that opportunity, I would have (grinning toothily) The whole latter part, you are a strong woman. Be that what you are and what makes you. It's your natural state. It's your superpower. Never forget that communication does work. It works to articulate your feelings and the meaning to any given situation. Manipulation and control is to alter the natrual state of a person externally. Sometimes it works but only if the individual yields to an external will. The only value in that is to communicate what the consequences are to a given set of behaviors or choices. State your demands. This is how I expect to be treated.. blah blah blah. This is how you can meet that expectation.. blah blah blah. This is what I believe are your expectations and so on. If you want to keep me in your life, etc. Ask the same of him. He has to choose. In my case and after 6 years of working at it, the inevitablility of it all was simply that she made her choice and each day it became painfully apparent that all of the energy I placed on the relationship was noble and all but ultimately futile. So to this place we came, some of us willingly and some with great resistance. All the while the same choices were made. At this point, we're still civil and we're still friends but she is hardly ever here, maybe one visit in two weeks, hot meal, shower, clean laundry and change over into clean clothes then out the door. To where, I know not. It's a cycle. I've a talent for pattern recognition. I have a network of spotters that do give me reports on where she's been, what new strange drunk dude she's hanging with, shacking up. Let me be absolutely clear about this. About a month and a half ago she asked me "Why do you care where I go or what I do?" I responded to her, "I don't care where you go or what you do, so long as you don't put yourself in danger. So long as you're safe." Well you could guess what her reaction was, she welled up with tears and asked "why?". I told her, "because I love you and care about you but I've come to the conclusion that I can't make you get help. I can't make you not take the risks that you do, I can't make you not drink and I can't prevent you from making the same mistakes, over and over again, never learning from any of them. What I can do is maintain this house, raise our kids, keep food on the table, lights on, roof above. All the power I have is over myself and I'm choosing to move on. I cannot in good conscience stand by and let myself or our kids watch you slowly kill yourself" The point of this is that communication, at very least opens up the options. They may not be the desired options but they do offer a path to change of a situation. We must ultimately make peace with and choose a path. Once that's done, pursue that path. I wish you the best in this situation. If you need more, call or hit me up on line. You know where I'll be.
That first part you mentioned about her stepping back in to whollop on him, what a doozy! Thank goodness she's out-a-there. I trust it was a most wonderful opportunity for you to bring out the warrior and protector! I also trust that you enjoyed that opportunity, I would have (grinning toothily) The whole latter part, you are a strong woman. Be that what you are and what makes you. It's your natural state. It's your superpower. Never forget that communication does work. It works to articulate your feelings and the meaning to any given situation. Manipulation and control is to alter the natrual state of a person externally. Sometimes it works but only if the individual yields to an external will. The only value in that is to communicate what the consequences are to a given set of behaviors or choices. State your demands. This is how I expect to be treated.. blah blah blah. This is how you can meet that expectation.. blah blah blah. This is what I believe are your expectations and so on. If you want to keep me in your life, etc. Ask the same of him. He has to choose. In my case and after 6 years of working at it, the inevitablility of it all was simply that she made her choice and each day it became painfully apparent that all of the energy I placed on the relationship was noble and all but ultimately futile. So to this place we came, some of us willingly and some with great resistance. All the while the same choices were made. At this point, we're still civil and we're still friends but she is hardly ever here, maybe one visit in two weeks, hot meal, shower, clean laundry and change over into clean clothes then out the door. To where, I know not. It's a cycle. I've a talent for pattern recognition. I have a network of spotters that do give me reports on where she's been, what new strange drunk dude she's hanging with, shacking up. Let me be absolutely clear about this. About a month and a half ago she asked me "Why do you care where I go or what I do?" I responded to her, "I don't care where you go or what you do, so long as you don't put yourself in danger. So long as you're safe." Well you could guess what her reaction was, she welled up with tears and asked "why?". I told her, "because I love you and care about you but I've come to the conclusion that I can't make you get help. I can't make you not take the risks that you do, I can't make you not drink and I can't prevent you from making the same mistakes, over and over again, never learning from any of them. What I can do is maintain this house, raise our kids, keep food on the table, lights on, roof above. All the power I have is over myself and I'm choosing to move on. I cannot in good conscience stand by and let myself or our kids watch you slowly kill yourself" The point of this is that communication, at very least opens up the options. They may not be the desired options but they do offer a path to change of a situation. We must ultimately make peace with and choose a path. Once that's done, pursue that path. I wish you the best in this situation. If you need more, call or hit me up on line. You know where I'll be.
She was yelling at him. I had had her over and he got home and was stressed and wanted peace and quiet. I told her to leave and that me and my son were going to go to the store and let him wind down. Then she SNEAKED BACK OVER AFTER I TOLD HER NOT TO SAY ANYTHING TO HIM THAT WAS NOT HER PLACE AND HE WOULD'VE DONE THE SAME FOR ME!!!Oh I told her that she was butting into our private relationship and I was furious! I talked to her once on the phone after that. She's already out of my life. It wasn't that she was flirting with him, she was bitching him out! What a nut! Like she has any right or place to call him on his shit because hers is way worse! I have been juggling around friends these past few months and cutting off the ones who I feel really aren't my friends. As for my relationship with my husband, we had a fight during a 4 mile hike (on the way down thank goodness)and we survived it. I told him how I felt in what I thought was a nice calm arena, sitting on a mountain and all. Still somehow, he felt like he was "lambbasted". It's so hard to talk to people sometimes. I had a problem with how he was treating me in conversation. Even though he wasn't doing anything "wrong", it was a lack of hearing what I was saying. Litterally, "I didn't want to talk about my son anymore." He had already refocused on "us" and realizes that his original plan on how he was going to function in this house was really a good plan. It's a man thing for sure. I was expressing my worry and frustration about my son, he wanted to step in and help "fix it", only to find that he really can't have much effect on him, and can't handle that parental stress. I never asked him to, nor expected him to, and said that many times before. He is not his responsibility. Once again, trying too hard. I don't feel I am a great wife after being alone for 10 years. I won't walk around on eggshells, but I don't want to fight either. We have seemed to work it out, but I am in a depression while waiting for a month for a "window" of time to talk with him. I asked him if he can be patient with me. He almost lost me. You can't let people hurt you. If they don't listen and respect your feelings, you shut down. There is more and I don't know if I can make it work. But I am determined to try. Many women in my family kicked out alcoholic husbands and raised the kids on their own. We just don't know how to manipulate and control a man. I really think those that stay married to men do one of 2 things: Either "don't say anything" and grin and bear it.(When the husband supported the family they didn't have much choice) or somehow use magic to keep them around for 50 years. All I was trying to do was to communicate that he was hurting me unknowingly and I wanted him to know so he could choose to stop it. I fear communication doesn't help a marriage, except to help end it. That's what all the old married ladies tried to tell me. But I am a foolish victim of the pop culture's philosophy, so I'll keep up the communication ethic. I know that he is a man creature and he'll treat me exactly how I allow him to treat me. Just like John Gray let us know in mars and venus, it's really all on the woman to be gracious and kind.
She was yelling at him. I had had her over and he got home and was stressed and wanted peace and quiet. I told her to leave and that me and my son were going to go to the store and let him wind down. Then she SNEAKED BACK OVER AFTER I TOLD HER NOT TO SAY ANYTHING TO HIM THAT WAS NOT HER PLACE AND HE WOULD'VE DONE THE SAME FOR ME!!!Oh I told her that she was butting into our private relationship and I was furious! I talked to her once on the phone after that. She's already out of my life. It wasn't that she was flirting with him, she was bitching him out! What a nut! Like she has any right or place to call him on his shit because hers is way worse! I have been juggling around friends these past few months and cutting off the ones who I feel really aren't my friends. As for my relationship with my husband, we had a fight during a 4 mile hike (on the way down thank goodness)and we survived it. I told him how I felt in what I thought was a nice calm arena, sitting on a mountain and all. Still somehow, he felt like he was "lambbasted". It's so hard to talk to people sometimes. I had a problem with how he was treating me in conversation. Even though he wasn't doing anything "wrong", it was a lack of hearing what I was saying. Litterally, "I didn't want to talk about my son anymore." He had already refocused on "us" and realizes that his original plan on how he was going to function in this house was really a good plan. It's a man thing for sure. I was expressing my worry and frustration about my son, he wanted to step in and help "fix it", only to find that he really can't have much effect on him, and can't handle that parental stress. I never asked him to, nor expected him to, and said that many times before. He is not his responsibility. Once again, trying too hard. I don't feel I am a great wife after being alone for 10 years. I won't walk around on eggshells, but I don't want to fight either. We have seemed to work it out, but I am in a depression while waiting for a month for a "window" of time to talk with him. I asked him if he can be patient with me. He almost lost me. You can't let people hurt you. If they don't listen and respect your feelings, you shut down. There is more and I don't know if I can make it work. But I am determined to try. Many women in my family kicked out alcoholic husbands and raised the kids on their own. We just don't know how to manipulate and control a man. I really think those that stay married to men do one of 2 things: Either "don't say anything" and grin and bear it.(When the husband supported the family they didn't have much choice) or somehow use magic to keep them around for 50 years. All I was trying to do was to communicate that he was hurting me unknowingly and I wanted him to know so he could choose to stop it. I fear communication doesn't help a marriage, except to help end it. That's what all the old married ladies tried to tell me. But I am a foolish victim of the pop culture's philosophy, so I'll keep up the communication ethic. I know that he is a man creature and he'll treat me exactly how I allow him to treat me. Just like John Gray let us know in mars and venus, it's really all on the woman to be gracious and kind.
From the comment on Fierce's blog - Bonnster, remember that there is only one person on the planet that you have total contol over. It is self. There's no fault or shame in talking or writing about the one you love. Now for the rest of the story... Yes. Others will test wherever there is the desire to do so. God knows I've seen it many many times before and even played a role in the testing itself, long ago. It is a question of security in the relationship, yours and his and anyone standing just outside of this that may have designs for either of you. Insomuch as the crossing of the line, examine where you're "line" is and discuss this with your man. Ask him where his lines are with you. Make sure the lines are reasonable and be sure to make the distinction between social contact and context with others. If a simple conversation with someone of the opposite sex is crossing the line, that's unreasonable. As an individual, if you recognize that the other is flirting, okay, that's a reasonable flag. Call it when you see it. Get that streight so that all of your encounters with people outside of this can be managed properly. (Remember and always practice that open communication thing. Practice, practice, practice, Bonnster!) I can think of many examples of couples of all classes and levels of education and sophistication for which the general social and psychological mean applies and where there was trouble. One in particular wasn't so good. Two well respected people that were married a half dozen years ago both holding multiple post grad degrees in chemistry and the natural sciences and fairly high ranking within government service. Both professionals that I worked with over the course of years. One, the guy, had what turned out to be serious control and self image issues. Believe me when I tell you, you'd have no idea if you saw him. Very successful, 6'4", even keel. However when you saw him with his wife, he became aggressive if he saw her so much as talk to another man, even in a professional context. Eventually he succumbed to these feelings of insecurity. Fortunately the situation did solve itself. He left the relationship without any known incident. She moved on. Don't fall into the trap of insecurity. If a friend crosses a legitimate line, confer with your man, agree then confront the friend. Don't fall into the trap of agree/disagree with the friend. Just state the observation and that both you and your man made the observation and that the resulting feeling is as it is. Let that be the final fair warning. If it happens again, both of you agree to cut off any and all contact with that person. No apologies necessary, we are primates, both social and territorial. On the other hand with that whole open communication thing going on, make sure that niether of you, you or your man crosses each other's reasonable, fairly established lines. The same rules apply to each other. Observations, feelings, fair warning. Love each other, see to each other's needs and desires. Stay close to each other and always practice that open communication between yourselves.
From the comment on Fierce's blog - Bonnster, remember that there is only one person on the planet that you have total contol over. It is self. There's no fault or shame in talking or writing about the one you love. Now for the rest of the story... Yes. Others will test wherever there is the desire to do so. God knows I've seen it many many times before and even played a role in the testing itself, long ago. It is a question of security in the relationship, yours and his and anyone standing just outside of this that may have designs for either of you. Insomuch as the crossing of the line, examine where you're "line" is and discuss this with your man. Ask him where his lines are with you. Make sure the lines are reasonable and be sure to make the distinction between social contact and context with others. If a simple conversation with someone of the opposite sex is crossing the line, that's unreasonable. As an individual, if you recognize that the other is flirting, okay, that's a reasonable flag. Call it when you see it. Get that streight so that all of your encounters with people outside of this can be managed properly. (Remember and always practice that open communication thing. Practice, practice, practice, Bonnster!) I can think of many examples of couples of all classes and levels of education and sophistication for which the general social and psychological mean applies and where there was trouble. One in particular wasn't so good. Two well respected people that were married a half dozen years ago both holding multiple post grad degrees in chemistry and the natural sciences and fairly high ranking within government service. Both professionals that I worked with over the course of years. One, the guy, had what turned out to be serious control and self image issues. Believe me when I tell you, you'd have no idea if you saw him. Very successful, 6'4", even keel. However when you saw him with his wife, he became aggressive if he saw her so much as talk to another man, even in a professional context. Eventually he succumbed to these feelings of insecurity. Fortunately the situation did solve itself. He left the relationship without any known incident. She moved on. Don't fall into the trap of insecurity. If a friend crosses a legitimate line, confer with your man, agree then confront the friend. Don't fall into the trap of agree/disagree with the friend. Just state the observation and that both you and your man made the observation and that the resulting feeling is as it is. Let that be the final fair warning. If it happens again, both of you agree to cut off any and all contact with that person. No apologies necessary, we are primates, both social and territorial. On the other hand with that whole open communication thing going on, make sure that niether of you, you or your man crosses each other's reasonable, fairly established lines. The same rules apply to each other. Observations, feelings, fair warning. Love each other, see to each other's needs and desires. Stay close to each other and always practice that open communication between yourselves.
